Keep that long, long intro to your show full of in-jokes and pop culture references, etc – the listeners will LOVE it
– on second thoughts – MAYBE cut it down! –
Or watch a master at work in the first 45 seconds of this aircheck!
Next: Go on… Dance like no-one is watching while on the air, you’ve got style…
- I’ve got news for you – remember those station camera’s in the studio – they’re still live!
Always make sure your microphone is off – ALWAYS!
Sure… why not have a private deep and meaningful conversation or spend some time talking to yourself out loud complaining about your co-workers in the studio, no one will hear you… unless you are recording a tv spot…
Don’t worry, I can eat or drink over the desk while I work… I’ll be careful!
SURE! We have all had a spill that freaked us out at one time or another.
Next: Stamp your authentic you on everything you do in the studio – go on, sing the weather or traffic report….
Ummm, no don’t, in-fact don’t sing at all. OMG! STOP! Even if you can sing – don’t – that’s NOT what you are paid to do – trust me – listeners will hate you for doing this!
Slur your words or talk fast – no problem – people will understand you – NOPE – they don’t. Enunciate your words clearly, okay?
Don’t worry – you don’t need to prep, just sit-in for me while I take a short break… Ahhhmmm.. I’m going to say no!

Take the station van and use the GPS, you won’t get lost! Seriously – follow the traffic signs!
We’ve never had a problem with this computer, it’s never lost power, the UPS is brilliant… “Everything not saved will be lost” said an engineer to me once – ‘very sage advice’ I said, ‘who said it?’ “It’s from an old Nintendo save game screen”
Sure – eat the food the listeners send in – it’ll be okay…