(This is a transcript of a recording of creating this script)
Yes that’s right today I am going to write a creative ad – the dreaded “the client wants something creative” and you will see how I tackle such a project for a business segment that you would not have thought of before.
First of all, the brief from the sales rep at a regional country music station was – and I quote “something creative for a water cartage firm – they supply water to fill pools, for work sites, to wet down road construction and do private, corporate and local government work”
Okay – and contact point? Their website – that’s it.
Right, that’s not much to go on at all – but I am sure I can do something with it.
So, I looked at their website – it’s just a landing page with contact details.
Okay, let’s work out how to tackle this…
Let’s begin with the solution – what does the solution look like in this case – wet roads – boring, full pool – that could be done, wet work site… sounds like I could have fun with that idea or driving the truck around delivering water.
How about a reason why you would need water delivered? The levels going down? Isn’t there a Johnny Cash song “How High is the Water Momma?” – I’ll have a listen to that and see if it inspires me… ((PLAYS SONG)) Nope! not really.
What about “water works?” that’s got some possibilities.
I could write something about the truck driver… nah boring.
Or a work site getting a delivery and the people there getting soaked in water, sounds a bit silly when I say it out loud.
Talk about tanks? No, they just deliver water… what about filling an army tank with water? Nah.
Someone inside the tank talking to us as the water sloshes around – that sounds like a good idea… hmmm.
Let’s move on – now that I’ve got a couple of ideas.
Now: Is there an emotion or feeling I could make work for water delivery?
Happy when a delivery occurs, or sad that you need water – nope that doesn’t work.
“Happy” or at least “upbeat” it is for the feeling then.
What person would be interested in this product?
Well, there would be homeowners to fill a pool, business people for water cartage to building site, local government officials – so I have to write to appeal to at least one, but preferably 2 of those.
Now I want the ad to stand out, let’s see I want it to be different, if I make it sound like it is someone inside the tank as it being driven around – that will sound different, with water movement and with the person struggling to stand up – I like that idea – so who is this person and why are they inside a tank?
Hmmm… it could be a character someone from the business? Or a sales person? A voice artist?
I like the idea of a voice artist being put into the tank so that he knows what they are talking about – we can add effects for the tank to make the reverb sound plastic/small room, with water sloshing and if ‘acted’ right this could work. That should stand out a lot actually.
Now because this is only one ad for the client, it’s one core message should be to contat them for details – so I have to make sure I have that in there too.
So let’s start actually writing now (I will change the name of the business for the purposes of this script)…
((PRODUCTION NOTES: all of script is to be performed like the voice artist is inside a water tank as it is being driven around, then backed up at a destination – so we want lots of splashes, sloshes and other effects, plus discrete muffled sounds of truck driving and indicating, brakes, reverse beeping from the truck, etc))
“Wayne’s Water Works asked me to pop inside one of their Water Tank Delivery Trucks as they drive to a clients house to fill their pool – it’s the middle of summer and I agreed, so whoooo, here I am.
Wayne’s deliver water for… whey-hey! Pool filling, local council water requirements, and building site water need, neeeeeeds!
If you go to “Wayne’s Water Works dot com” you’ll find their contact details, and… ahh, we’re here, you can book your delivery direct with Wayne himself.
By the way, being inside one of these tanks is not a good idea.”
Okay – it’s a very rough first draft – and I don’t like the end, the start needs some work and the message in the middle seems muddled.
The production notes are all okay – so I will leave those as is for now.
Let’s re-write:
“Wayne’s Water Works have put me inside one of their Water Tank Trucks as they deliver to a clients house to fill their new pool – whoooo! It’s the middle of summer and I agreed.
Whey-hey! Wayne’s deliver water for filling pools, for local councils, building site water need, neeeeeeds!
If you go to “Wayne’s Water Works dot com” you’ll find their contact details, and… ahh, we’re here, you can book your delivery direct with Wayne himself.
By the way, this is not very safe, luckily its only an ad for Wayne’s Water Works.”
That’s a bit better, but its 94 words – so I need to do some trimming.
Let’s edit it…
“Wayne’s Water Works have put me inside one of their Water Tank Trucks as they deliver to a clients house to fill their new pool.
Whey-hey! Wayne’s deliver water for filling pools, for local councils, building site water need, neeeeeeds!
If you go to “Wayne’s Water Works dot com” you’ll find their contact details, and… ahh, we’re here, you can book your delivery direct with Wayne himself.
By the way, this is not safe, luckily its only an ad for Wayne’s Water Works.”
83 words – much better, now I need to trim a wee bit more because of the massive amounts of sound effects – so, do I really need the disclaimer? Probably not – let’s tweak it some.
“No one was actually inside a Wayne’s Water Works tank for this commercial”
That brings us down to 80 words – as we put it together I might be able to trim it some more.
So altogether, with the production notes:
((PRODUCTION NOTES: all of script is to be performed like the voice artist is inside a water tank as it is being driven around, then backed up at a destination – so we want lots of splashes, sloshes and other effects, plus discrete muffled sounds of truck driving and indicating, brakes, reverse beeping from the truck, etc))
((MVO)) “Wayne’s Water Works have put me inside one of their Water Tank Trucks while they deliver water to a clients house to fill their new pool.
Whey-hey! Wayne’s deliver water for pools, for local councils, building site water need, neeeeeeds!
If you go to “Wayne’s Water Works dot com” you’ll find their contact details, and… ahh, we’re here… You can also book your delivery with Wayne himself.
((FVO)) “No one was inside a Wayne’s Water Works tank for this commercial”
79 words – now it’s up to production to build the picture in peoples minds – and have the voice artist capture what I was after.
And that’s it for today – a creative script from start to finish – before I hand it off to the producer.
